______________*****In nEeD Of MuSiC*****_____________

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Things on my mind..

I've always wanted to know whats the meaning of living.. There's just something that missing in my heart.. Constantly.. Everytime when ive done something which i want like buying stuff, i dont feel the sense of satisfaction. Even after my wallet and handphone was found..

What do i need... I dont have a fulfilled life.

Just saw something while browsing through some stuff.. Suddenly i feel a deep fear and sadness just pump up from my heart.. i dunno whats that feeling but i definitely know what it was.. i just closed it immediately..

I need someone. Someone more than a friend. Someone who will listen to me all the time.. someone who will console me and really care for me. Is it too much? Maybe im just thinking like some big asshole..

Thinking of what clement said... A Peace of Mind.. Is this the so call maturity in this world? Something that will keep you alive even when you're alone? I just cant live alone.. I need lots of companions. Really good friends.

Often i envy those people who have really good friends because i dont have...

Probably its God? But ive tried it... I dont feel good.. maybe i just dint serve Him well enough thats why.. There's a hole in my heart. What can it be to cover it so that i will feel satisfied.. Whats going on in my heart... Trying to be cheerful, crazy and all... Its just bullshit.

Trying to pretend my way through... But i cant pretend to myself. Sometimes i wish i could and just maybe pretend until the day i die...

Where's heaven... It seems to be a place thats really difficult to go to... When your heart is just abit off, Hell you go... yeah.. its really hard..

How can i have the peace of mind....?

5:52 AM