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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

hEy HeY~ wahahaha... ITs a bORinG dAy.. Today is wednesday 23 Nov 2005. hMmm.. G12 is going to celebrate my cousin, devon and dennis birthday. whAo.. wonder how it would be likE.. hAiz.. hmMm..
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This past few days, have been going on a "look out" for the character. I'm still blinded by something... I still cannot see through the heart and minD... hAiz.. HoW? hMmm... I am always waiting waiting and waiting... haiz... when?? boRing... yAWn.. i am like the past of the opposites~ why am i treated like that? hMmm... and i have to tolerate.. juSt doN knOW why.. I always have to find out things myself... To tell the truth, its not fun... And i dont like this feelinGs... And one thing... I wanna be someone special.. with priviledges in that "place".. I really want to be... I dont want to always do something and i dont get back. Its really sucky mAn.. i hate it.. itS boRing man.. boRing.. hAiZ.. when will it end?
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What will be my last decision? What will it turn out to be? Will it remain or will it be off? I dunno... Because i find it very funny to see that the lines are still connected... I dunno... I'm really troubled somehow.. Yes, i may be very happy when its another story.. But somehow it turned back and making me feel so sad... And that old one is like always reconnecting... how man? I am just so lost man... wondering what my path will be... What will i do? Will i persevere? Suck man...

4:44 PM

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

No nice topic to put so put that. Today is like a waste of time for me.. I mean i waste away my time...oOps// hAiz.. yesterday dint slp.. was at dennis house at about 12. was at Jo's house revising so history... Oh, its crap man seriously.. China~ BorIng.. haiz.. haha~~ But i am happy because i am with her all the time~! Yeah... haha.. I am just super happy when i am with her... And mommy bought me perfume.. Adidas one... THankS~!!
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Was at Dennis house playing to rounds of chess.. won the two times.. haha.. then after that watch two movies and i was laughing like siao.. one about fighting and the other is twin effect two.. also super funny for some parts.. haha~ Then watch until like 520 then i read the bible and slp.. woke up officially at 349 like that la.. haha~ then brush my teeth and then i went home.. i bathe and then went to my room. I clean up abit and i threw away dunno how many plastics of papers~ oh man.. Papers man... haha.. Then i think my room is better now... looks better.. haha.. hAiz... quite tired after these O levels' papers... Quite boRinG actuAlly.. aRHG!!! but thank God.. After tomorrow i will be quite relax because it'll be left with only History and Science paper 1. yeah~!! haha... Then O level's OVER!!! wahahahaha!!! Then i dunno what i will do... i think i will slack ar... awhile, maybe going Sentosa and then find a job... yuP~ Now i am at devon's house after eating abit of meat and rice and vegetable. haha... and now i am slacking.. going to bathe then eat again.. haha! then slp until tomorrow for A maths paper. PreparinG to diE. wahahahaha~~ hAiz.. boRing.. wonder how i fair for other papers.. jUst prAy that it'll be goOd and the result will be niCe... yeAh.. ahaha~
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I am looking forward to a time when i can seriously know what she is thinking.. Just wanna know her deep down, know her everything.... Then i wanna be with her... seriously.. haiz.. although i am scared la... Think i am super stubborn.. But its nice/// She gives me a very nice feelinG... everytime i see her.. although quite disappointing at times but its nice...yea.. haha... yup~~ God bLEsS....

10:41 PM

Monday, November 14, 2005

Whao... hMmM.. this few days are quite nice to go past.. yuP~ things between me and jovin are better and sort of reconcile in a sense.. We are again friends and i hope its better noW after that two weeks and all that had happened... hMmM... I still have doubts... Doubts abouT everybody... especially girl.

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I am happy that my relationship between the Ps are better... After that crap that happened... I thank God that although i did drift away from Him, but i learnt alot of thinGs~ I grow and my prayer life grew stronger.. Today while i was walking to devon's house, something just got into my mind... That during that period of depression and all, i had a loT of time for God.. But after things are okay already when God had solve it, i took it for granted and i missed God's time. I dont care about Him anymore... I just pray that my prayer life will be super constant everytime and that i will humble myself to listen to anybody's advice including those whom have not been a good testimony themselves because God can talk in any ways! God is so good.. Although we might be irritated by those people who are weak them selves to lecture us, we have to at the same time humble ourselves to listen to them... hAiz.. THings are happening noW and i grow closer to them again. I trust in AC. Really alot ar... and i have no doubts for her. well, maybe a little bit.. But i have doubts for her... of the things that she do and all.. the way she thinks... I dont understand her... And i feel about the same way as before and i am not going to get really close and give her my all for now... Because if thats the case, many things will happen again... I dont want that to happen..

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When i heard that still the lines are still connected, many thoughts just came to my mind.. Because deep within her, i know she still holds on to the linE... The line that God knows when will ever break... I am scared.. seriously... I am very troubled somehow... And i am scared for now that i will really put in my best... And she is still tryinG.. i dun want.. Because in this kind of matter both have to give all and not just one... That it takes two hands to clap.. one hand produce nothiNg.. And there's nothing still in this new call~ hAiz.. I dunno what am i feeling now... COnfuSe somEhoW.. and a stupid thought came to my mind that made me serious have super lots of doubTs~~!!!! Crap man... When isit gonna end for me? When is it that the line will be cut and this new one connected? When will it be picked up?

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=_BothEreD_=

9:58 PM

Friday, November 11, 2005

Yup... Been barred from forgiving because of what is on my mind.. refusing to give up or accept the fact that i am being played... hmmm... THank God... He spoke to me while i am on the taxi while going home from Aunty Candy's house... Chat with Aunty Candy before that for 2 hours plus at the swimmiNG pool area... Talked about alot of thinGs. and this is one of it... She felt bad because of a choice that both she and jo had made... Then i thought about it and GOd spoke to me... I wanna advance more into christianity.. I don wanna just stop here... I wanna move on!! Hallelujah... I just wanna clear all barriers and move on... I wanna have the faith to Heal, to move mountains and to be an exorsist if possible... I wanna have the faith to Move mountain like what is written in the bIblE... Praise the Lord... Messaged Jovin after that at abouT 2am... And i slept... The reply came back at about 7 but i read it only at 11 pluS... And it was super long.. haha... And i chat with her today at about 7 plus and she said she was super happy... haha... Glad to hear that though... Yup///

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Through this i had learn something... That i have to learn how to handle things in a calm way rather than to lose my testimony... THink abouT that, i think i am still the same without changing after learning from my past experience... So now i have learnt.. hAiz.. muSt not be too prideful.. SOmetimEs the decision we make are so wrong because of pRidE.. boTherEd mAn.. So have to change and pray real hard.. Hallelujah~~ Praise the Lord...

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For now i just hope that things will turn out better for all of us and that she wont disappoint me again.. And seriously, i missed her so much man... haha.. God bLEsS alL...

windweisheng

12:56 AM

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Why is it so hard to forgive her for this matter? I think i still love her.. Yes maybe i am jealous that there 2gether again... iTs an irony to see that i'm neglected, taken for granted because of an unfaithful doTs.. Its an irony to say that.. To think of that i think its quite funny and stupid.. To actually get back with the one who disappoinT and hurt u. I am being cheated... But i cannot just forgive like that... I cannot accept the fact that i am the one being disappoinTed.. after i have done so muCh.. What is this man? The world is UNFAIR!!! thE love on earth is also fake..!!! I am being treated unfairly.. and seriously, i hate it... I hate that feeling!!! I hate being cheated by girls especially in a relationship!!! Crap... I thought i can just forget... I tried.. But i failed... When i saw her that time i was so furiouS!!! Suddenly the anger just rushed into my minD~~ what is 5 days mAn??! why am i so worked up? Because i really put in all that i have, risking and believing that she will not do the same thing.. I hate it.. But thank God the time pass by so quickly.. So fast and its already 2 weeks already.. But it still haunts ME!!! So boRIng...
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God is cool and good... He gave me loads of friends who aren't fake like those previous onEs... They are brand new friends who cares and fun to be with~ Encouragements more than disappointments... I forgot all my troubles when i am with them. It's just so cool.. I love my brand new group friends!!! Weihoong, Jack, Eelen, Jiamin, Midori and Bernice. Can you believe it? I am just having loads and loadS of fuN! Maybe some are long time friends... But the experiences that i get from then is super new and cool~! I am loving IT!!! I love my friends!!!


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And still, that person who played me, i wont forgive her so easily or quickly... Because there is only one word to describe this feeling and all the crap.... SUCKS!!!

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God bless you...

windweisheng

5:09 PM


me, myself
Name: Jordon Lee Weisheng
Age: 18 in 2007
Date of birth: 22nd June 1989
Location: Singapore
Email: windweisheng@hotmail.com
Hp: 91509875


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