Monday, November 14, 2005
Whao... hMmM.. this few days are quite nice to go past.. yuP~ things between me and jovin are better and sort of reconcile in a sense.. We are again friends and i hope its better noW after that two weeks and all that had happened... hMmM... I still have doubts... Doubts abouT everybody... especially girl.
I am happy that my relationship between the Ps are better... After that crap that happened... I thank God that although i did drift away from Him, but i learnt alot of thinGs~ I grow and my prayer life grew stronger.. Today while i was walking to devon's house, something just got into my mind... That during that period of depression and all, i had a loT of time for God.. But after things are okay already when God had solve it, i took it for granted and i missed God's time. I dont care about Him anymore... I just pray that my prayer life will be super constant everytime and that i will humble myself to listen to anybody's advice including those whom have not been a good testimony themselves because God can talk in any ways! God is so good.. Although we might be irritated by those people who are weak them selves to lecture us, we have to at the same time humble ourselves to listen to them... hAiz.. THings are happening noW and i grow closer to them again. I trust in AC. Really alot ar... and i have no doubts for her. well, maybe a little bit.. But i have doubts for her... of the things that she do and all.. the way she thinks... I dont understand her... And i feel about the same way as before and i am not going to get really close and give her my all for now... Because if thats the case, many things will happen again... I dont want that to happen.. ==========================================================================
When i heard that still the lines are still connected, many thoughts just came to my mind.. Because deep within her, i know she still holds on to the linE... The line that God knows when will ever break... I am scared.. seriously... I am very troubled somehow... And i am scared for now that i will really put in my best... And she is still tryinG.. i dun want.. Because in this kind of matter both have to give all and not just one... That it takes two hands to clap.. one hand produce nothiNg.. And there's nothing still in this new call~ hAiz.. I dunno what am i feeling now... COnfuSe somEhoW.. and a stupid thought came to my mind that made me serious have super lots of doubTs~~!!!! Crap man... When isit gonna end for me? When is it that the line will be cut and this new one connected? When will it be picked up?
